i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
