bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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