after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
