My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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