2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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