So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
