whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
