508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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