I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
