She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
