so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
