i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
