You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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