When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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