Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We got so high we made milksteak
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
