she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
