Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
