STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My room smells like vodka and shame
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
