I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
foreskin is a definite game changer
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
