She said her name was "party"
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
