Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
being pregnant is like rehab
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
