you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
