Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
