I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
