plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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