Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
