I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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