so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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