what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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