This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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