the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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