jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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