i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
