dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
