i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
