I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He passed out mid-signature
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
