By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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