I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
