Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
