did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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