my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
