Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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