It's Friday. Sex?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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