one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Shame is for Republicans.
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