4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
