drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
