Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
