Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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