why didn't you poke me back
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
my poor anus
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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