it was like his penis was on wheels.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
