I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
