We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
