I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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