I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
