I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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