this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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