we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Randomize
