Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
