If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
