i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
