i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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