i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
