Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
