I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
